Stephen Colbert Scolds Kristi Noem for Killing Her Puppy

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The South Dakota governor Kristi Noem, an aspiring vice-presidential candidate, has gotten some negative press over her forthcoming book, in which she describes killing a family dog.

“Warning: If you like puppies, you’re not going to like Kristi Noem,” Stephen Colbert said on Monday.

“Look, I know it sounds terrible, but it’s much worse. Because this wasn’t some rabid 90-pound hellhound on a meth bender — it was a 14-month-old wire-haired pointer named Cricket. Yes, a puppy named Cricket. Reminds me of Stephen King’s first draft of ‘Cujo,’ ‘Snuggles.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“When you’re trying to win over voters, I’m not sure being the bad guy in a John Wick movie is the best way to go.” — JIMMY FALLON

“But who among us hasn’t seen a dog running through the fields, not a care in the world, and thought, ‘You deserve to die’?” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Yeah, people are really going to hate her next book, ‘Kristi Noem: Then I Ate It.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“It’s one thing to kill a dog named Cricket; it’s another to brag about it in your book. What’s the book even called, ‘I Did It’?” — SETH MEYERS

Anne Hathaway and Melanie Lynskey played a new game called “Reverse Charades” on Monday’s “Tonight Show.”

Jerry Seinfeld will discuss his new Netflix film, “Unfrosted,” on Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”

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