Woman sparks debate over putting up Christmas tree without her family

With the holiday season almost over, people are beginning to question when exactly they should be taking their Christmas decorations down.

In a recent Reddit post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” subreddit, a mother is questioning whether or not she ended up “ruining” her daughter’s first Christmas. She explained that one day to surprise both her partner and one-year-old daughter by putting up their Christmas tree before the two of them woke up.

“When he saw the tree, he scoffed, ‘You’ve put the tree without us?’ her post read. “He went with his attitude all day and then he was pushing me to apologise for putting the tree up without them because it was tradition.”

The mother explained that this wasn’t the first Christmas that she and her partner had spent together, and it was normal for her to put up the tree by herself. “If I had waited for him it wouldn’t have been done or it would’ve been really late,” she clarified.

She also pointed out that he had never mentioned wanting to turn putting up the Christmas tree into a family tradition, so she couldn’t have known to wait. But because he was upset the mother then decided to put the tree away to eventually put it up again as a family.

“I had enough and grabbed the tree and put it away,” the Reddit post read. “He then yelled at me for being childish and that I ruined our first daughter’s Christmas. He yelled that he was going to cancel what he booked.”

After posting, many people took to the comments to express who they thought was in the wrong with their argument, but there was no consensus. Some commenters sided with her partner and said she should have apologised. “I actually kinda agree with the partner. What’s up with putting up the tree yourself? When he objected to you doing it, you TOOK IT DOWN AND PUT IT AWAY?! WTF? What did that fix?” one person wrote in the comments section.

Another commenter agreed, writing, “I don’t know why you couldn’t just say, ‘Sorry! I didn’t know!’ What is wrong with people these days? No one apologises for anything — even when it’s simple and would end the conflict. So much drama and need to be ‘right.’ You’re the a**hole for escalating something so ridiculous.”

However, some people went on to agree with the mother and said that her husband was the problem by being immature. “Your husband sounds ridiculously immature. Also, your child is only one. They are not going to remember any of this. Tell your husband to grow up,” one person commented.

“If you’ve always put the tree up on your own and he never mentioned putting up the tree as a family, then he should have no reasonable expectation to do it together,” another commenter agreed.

“Instead of calmly pulling you aside and working as a team to resolve it, he intentionally tried to get an emotional response from you by saying you ruined your child’s Christmas. Could you have responded better? Sure. But, when you’re pushed and pushed and pushed, people snap. It’s emotional manipulation.”

There was also a group of commenters who claimed the situation was mishandled by both parties. “I kinda feel like everyone sucks here (except the baby). He acted like a child by being so angry when he could have easily explained what an important tradition that is to him and why he was hurt. You acted like a child by disregarding that he had a right to be upset and then putting it away,” one person wrote.

“Everyone sucks here. I worry for the child to have such immature parents,” read another comment.

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