DHS director dons her Ballistic Barbie costume in Phoenix. Don’t you feel safe?

It’s time for the Trump administration to make Phoenix safe again.

They can do this by dispatching Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem … somewhere, anywhere … else.

Noem is America’s reigning queen of cosplay. Whether it’s rocking a cowboy hat while sitting astride a horse in Del Rio, Texas, (Border Barbie) or posing in front of Venezuelan inmates in an El Salvador supermax prison with her ICE ballcap and her $50,000 gold Rolex (Badass Barbie), Noem’s got it going on.

On April 8, there was Noem, all dolled up on the streets of Phoenix with flak jacket, full hair and makeup and, of course, that $50K Rolex, looking like she was ready to storm the city (Ballistic Barbie).

Noem, leading the convoy of federal agents, was behind the wheel of a BearCat armored SWAT vehicle (Barbie’s new Dream Tank?)

Noem led 100 agents … to arrest 3 in Phoenix

“Human traffickers. Drug Smugglers. 18th Street Gang members,” Noem wrote on X, formerly Twitter. “Spent the morning in Phoenix with our brave @ICEgov and Arizona law enforcement arresting these dirtbags and getting them off our streets.”

Attached was a picture of her pointing a rifle seemingly at the head of the federal agent standing to her left.

Fortunately, Noem and her 100-agent task force got their man.

Or, rather, three of them, all reportedly illegal immigrants suspected of money laundering, drug and weapons crimes, according to the New York Post, whose reporter went along for the raid.

And fortunately, none of the agents was injured … by the migrants or by their leader.

Who is probably a smart woman. If only she acted like it.

Opinion: No, Arizona border is not ‘under siege’

Maybe she could start by spending less time on pretend play and more time working on ways to ensure her agents aren’t rounding up the wrong people and shipping them off to Salvadoran prisons.

More time snatching up hardened criminals and less time picking up “collateral damage.”

Cosplay makes Homeland Security director look silly

It was left to Arizona U.S. Sen. Ruben Gallego, a Marine combat veteran, to school Noem on how to pose for better self-promotional videos.

“1. Close your ejection port,” Gallego wrote on social media, referring to the rifle’s cartridge ejection area.

“2. If you have no rounds in the chamber why do you have a magazine inserted?

“3. If you have rounds in the chamber or in the magazine why are you flagging the guy next to you?

“4. Stop deporting people without due process.”

If these were truly gangbangers and traffickers, then good for law enforcement for getting them off the streets of Phoenix, in accordance with the laws of the land. Even if it did take 100 of them to do it.

But Battle-Ready Barbie?

Unless she’s knocking on doors and saying, “Trick or Treat,” she just looks silly.

I’m guessing nobody’s afraid of her.

Well, unless they happen to be a dog …

Reach Roberts at laurie.roberts@arizonarepublic.com. Follow her on X (formerly Twitter) at @LaurieRobertsaz, on Threads at @LaurieRobertsaz and on BlueSky at @laurieroberts.bsky.social.

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This article originally appeared on Arizona Republic: Kristi Noem goes on Phoenix ICE raid for more cosplay | Opinion