QUENTIN LETTS: Brother Jenrick whacked Prince Andrew then proposed a burka ban. Polite society will be appalled

Robert Jenrick knows how to tap the Establishment’s kneecap on just that tender part to provoke convulsions. 

Shadow justice secretary Jenrick yesterday did it twice. First he whacked Prince Andrew. Then he proposed banning burkas. Polite society will be appalled.

To complete his day, he attended a Commons debate on the Sentencing Bill in which his sidekick Kieran Mullan complained about Labour ditching plans to castrate pederasts.

Dr Mullan was all in favour of castration (for sex offenders only, at present) and indicated he was ready with the Newberry knife should the Tories ever return to government.

We could wish for no one more suitable. Dr Mullan has the long neck and antiseptic pallor of an efficient gelder.

First to Brother Jenrick. Much of Britain was still abed when he popped up in that vale of woes, breakfast television, and announced his displeasure with Prince Andrew. Senior politicians here have for decades avoided criticising members of the Royal Family. It has been one of the unwritten rules in Westminster’s club-class lounge: no Royal Bashing.

Mr Jenrick abandoned that convention. The prince had been behaving ‘disgracefully’ and should both ‘leave public life forever’ and be denied further remittances from the public purse.

This presumably meant Andrew should not even be entitled to Jobseekers’ Allowance, to which he might soon have been eligible given that he is not yet 66 and has just lost his position as a zero-hours-contract duke.

Mr Jenrick’s anti-prince comments rattled off the tongue. ‘The public are sick of Prince Andrew,’ he thundered. His BBC interviewer, not having anticipated such blood-quickening remarks from a Conservative Privy Councillor, sat back looking startled yet satisfied, a cat that had just swallowed an unexpected goldfish.

Having given the House of York a spot of what-for, Mr Jenrick moved studios and shifted his attention to the burka, the outer garment worn by Muslim memsahibs who wish to hide their faces.

Mr Jenrick, himself less modest, was asked on a Talk Radio call-in what he felt about banning burkas. He was all for it.

There were ‘basic values in this country and we should defend them’. It was put to him that when Reform MP Sarah Pochin proposed a ban, the then chairman of Reform, not previously seen as a namby-pamby pink liberal, resigned in hot protest.

Mr Jenrick shrugged. Some European countries had already banned burkas. The Italian prime minister was considering it, too.

The prince had been behaving ‘disgracefully’ and should both ‘leave public life forever’ and be denied further remittances from the public purse. This presumably meant Andrew should not even be entitled to Job Seekers’ Allowance

If poor Prince Andrew had any ideas about leaving the country incognito, disguised as an effendi’s harami, he might want to get on with it.

Within minutes of Mr Jenrick’s phone-in there was uproar. Labour types accused him of ‘peddling division’, of seeking to undermine Kemi Badenoch (who is not yet convinced about a burka ban) and of being ‘anti-British’.

That last charge came from Bishop Auckland’s MP, Sam Rushworth. Mind you, young Rushworth may not be the best guide to matters sartorial. Last week he attended PMQs in a filthy pair of gym shoes.

While London’s polite salons clutched their necks at Mr Jenrick, the Commons debated the Sentencing Bill. It proposes sending fewer criminals to prison.

Samurai sword wielders, knife thugs, drunks who break a beer glass and mush it into a rival’s face: such tender souls may soon be spared incarceration.

Esther McVey (Con, Tatton) spoke strongly against the Bill, attributing it to hard-Leftwing ideology. Labour MPs said there was a shortage of prison cells. A la-di-dah Lib Dem lady from Tiverton, swathed in mink, expressed astonishment that prison cost four times more than Eton.

Sir Desmond Swayne (Con, New Forest W) barked that there would hardly be much need for prison calls once this Bill became law.

Reform’s Ms Pochin also spoke. Luke Taylor (Lib Dem, Sutton & Cheam) reacted to her effort by erupting with bad language.

This offended the innate chivalry of Lee Anderson (Ref, Ashfield), who complained. Balding Mr Taylor, one of life’s two-pudding men, pleaded not guilty.

Don’t they always?